Sometimes I ask Wholeness to show me what I can not see. Sometimes I ask for advice, guidance, clues. Help. Support.
So I asked. And I got my answer. The Old has to die for New to be born.
But it’s not that easy, is it? Even when old is poisonous, hurtful, empty. Oh, we ask for something else, something different, something more. We want change. Yet, confronted with the fact that the old must die, that we must let go, do the cut, that we must change, act, when any of this is to be done, we freeze with fear.
And not the fear of death of the old. No. We fear what the new will be. We hope, we wish, we want, and being unsure if it will really be like that, we are afraid. What if it will be even worse? What it will hurt even more? Sure, the old hurts. But the pain is known. It became part of us. What if the new one will cut us where we haven’t been cut before, and deeper?
We learn we should know the depths of the water we jump into. But do we ever really see the depths of life we dive into? Can we ever know if it’s safe? The water might heal or kill us.
How can we overcome the fear of New, when the Old must die?
I feared each and every time. Jumped. Dived. Survived. Each time with new bruises, new scars. Each time more afraid…
I wish I had some hope. I wish someone would jump with me. But we always jump alone…
Alenka H., 2021