I said I’ll try my best not to love again. But it’s not who I am, how I am.
Sometimes seeing in others things that are in us is what is needed for the shift.
When I listened to someone so dear to me say how he decided he’ll never love again, the pain of seeing and feeling it was too much. I understand him. I even, unfortunately, believe he’ll do so. It hurt, because I see in him what he tries not to show…
And it made me realize something terrible.
We decide not to love anymore, because someone hurt us, and never see how our decision hurts those who want to be loved by us. We stay bound to the past and with it we limit our future. By staying victims we turn into offenders.
By closing our heart we prevent wounds from closing. But scars will stay either way. We either keep old wounds opened or risk getting new ones. Perhaps we will bleed out and die, yes. Perhaps we will not. If we don’t risk, we don’t have the chance at all. We’ll merely exist, bleeding slowly, and die anyway.
Alenka H., 2025