What is this between us? Hate, friendship, Affection, love, Or just the passion of two bodies Whose souls want to Run away?
We are so close When there are distances between us… And so far apart, when we are Side by side, So we could touch… Yet we don’t dare to. I know why we drink together. Because we both deny, And only when we are drunk, When we at least think that The other one is drunk too, We dare – Touch, hug, kiss… And more! And then it is gone… all? I don’t dare to break This silence between us – I’m too afraid You are not denying What I am.
Where are you, my love? I turned every stone, searching for you. It’s autumn… Perhaps you are hiding below piles of leafs of colours that burn? Maybe, when spring comes, you will return. Cold, lonely winter is coming to me.
Cold hands of emptiness Are all that is hugging me At night. I try to imagine your kiss, But the air is too still And no heartbeat is near. I look into darkness And picture the touch That would bring me alive. My hand holds my hand And I try to forget it. I miss you so much.
I looked at her, wondering what more I could give. I’ll give you my soul, I offered.
Oh, my dear child, she smiled softly, your soul is already mine, and each tear you’ll pay with you’ll see: it’s not the cuts that sting, it’s the salty water that drops on them.
So I give her my tears, hoping that Goddess or Words will, once in eternity, smile to me.
Ssh, don’t open your eyes. Just feel. Feel my palm on your chest, feel my lips on your neck. Feel my tongue trailing down you body, feel my hair on your stomach, feel my hands on your thighs. With eyes firmly shut you can pretend it’s not me and I can pretend we’re making love.
Our day was becoming a night. I wanted to ask you to go on with me, just one more hour, just one more step, one more embrace. You left our train without saying a word, and I whispered goodbye that will never be heard. I’ve travelled so far, only a day by your side. The nights are much colder now. And I dream of you.
Don’t speak. In silence the feeling is stronger. Don’t say the words. They’ve awoken the hope That should be left dormant. Your choice spoke so loud, Your acts screamed each time. I don’t want the drug Of your words. There is truth I must see. Don’t make me forget it. Don’t break me again.
Just for a little while I’ll hold on to you. I cannot let you go, not yet, not yet. Just for a little while I want to love you, I cannot loose you, not yet, not yet. Just for a little while I have to have you, I don’t want to be alone, not yet, not yet. Just for a little while…
I sense you in every raindrop, It smells like your smile. The trees offer me your touch. Every flower whispers your name. Every pebble, every rock, is A fragment of our dreams. There is nothing, nothing at all That would allow me To forget your absence.
We are taught we must be strong. We are taught we must be tough. We are taught we must stand on our own, find strength in ourselves.
Yes, I agree with all of that. But that is only one part of life. Please, let’s teach, normalize and learn the other half too. It’s time to say it is all right to need others too. To want others. To need help, support, encouragement, love.
We are humans, we are social beings. We are not here to learn to be alone, to practice solitude, detachment, to learn being lone wolfs, distant stars, or passing strangers. It is all right to want this, there is nothing wrong about that. Even more, we all need time with ourselves, silence and solitude, peace and self-discovery. We should know how to be alone from time to time. We should know that in us is the power and the magic of the whole universe.
But, and this is so so important, we are not here just to learn all this, we are not part of this world to be separated from it. There are worlds where we can learn that. This is not one of them. This is the world where we learn how to be together. To cooperate. To support each other. To help and be helped. To give and receive. To love and be loved.
I see so many of us being almost (or not just almost…) ashamed of feeling this – of wanting someone beside us. We are told we don’t need anyone and that it is not healthy to depend. We are told not to be weak, or needy, or so stupidly emotional.
It is not weak to be human. It’s brave to want to love after heart was broken before, to want to give when it was disappointed before, to want to connect when it was left before. Solitude can be a choice, but it is not what the purpose of being human is. Our mission is to grow together. We are like trees – some stand alone and defy and resist the forces that want to break them, teaching us about the silent power within. Most grow in groups. They communicate. Touch. Sometimes intertwine.
So let’s normalize not wanting to be alone. We are not meant to be alone. We are meant to love and be loved, in love’s many magnificent, wonderful, magical forms.
I don’t even need to close my eyes To feel the warmth of your kiss Or the softness of your touch Pretending I’m with you Cradling in your lap Close to your heart So close, so close I’m almost inside you.
It shouldn’t hurt so much, the air should not be poison, making holes in my lungs every breath in and out. Or maybe it should, reminding me that I still feel, I’m still alive even when I wish I wasn’t.
