Dragon’s Words

Words, written long ago or in the moment that just passed, carefully polished or done in a blink of an eye, while the feeling is fresh.

I’m not a poet, no. Writing is a way of healing, coping, surviving.

Some of poems were written recently, some decades ago. Many of them entered this world in my mother tongue that is quite different from English, having different structure, even some of features that don’t exist in most other languages. I do my best to translate those poems, but it can never sound the same. There are nuances of meanings, rhythm, taste… I can only hope the translation is good enough. It can never be perfect. But I’ve decided not to publish it in my mother tongue, I chose this blog instead. It will have to do.

Most of poems, if I may call them that at all, could probably be labeled as “love poems”, and yes, most of them are an expression of pain or hurt, longing, wishing, dreaming. Some are (mildly, in my opinion, but I acknowledge we have different criteria) erotic or sexual. If that is something you, Reader, find inappropriate or unwanted, you should know they are not specifically labeled or marked.

  • Perhaps almost

    Among all the faces
    yours
    and among all whispers
    mine.
    My mornings woke up
    for your nights.
    Cautiously bold,
    all, just a drop,
    between us new worlds
    began to exist
    only with words.
    It was almost, almost.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Passing hours

    So many questions I want to ask.
    So many things I want to tell.
    So many hours of silence between us.

    With each passing hour it’s harder to speak.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Lie

    When I ask if you miss me,
    I want you to lie.
    When I ask if you think of me,
    say that you do.

    I want to hear I’m your first and last thought,
    I want you to say that you dream of me
    and wake up with my name on your lips.

    Tell me it’s me.
    Again and again.
    No truth anymore.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • A new lesson

    A new lesson learned:
    not worth telling why,
    not even goodbye,
    shamefully burned.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Not for me

    You want me?
    I’m here.
    I’m a blank, empty notebook,
    and you can tear out my pages.
    I’m a white, pristine canvas
    for you to pour onto.
    I’m here to give all,
    I’m here to take all
    that you want to loose,
    and I’ll never ask you
    to give what I need –
    I know you don’t have it,
    at least not for me.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • …

    Eternity –
    from now
    to presently,
    from here
    to here;
    eternity of the moment
    and moment of eternity;
    drop in the ocean,
    thought in the palm,
    whispers between words,
    words in the silence.
    Boundlessness of moment,
    brevity of boundlessness
    and expanse of brevity.
    Here and now,
    there and then,
    always, everywhere,
    never, nowhere.

    Alenka H., 1995-2005, translation

  • I said, you said

    I said
    This is all.
    You said
    I want more.
    I said
    There is none.
    You said
    Then I’m gone.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Nowhere near

    The winds are so strong.
    I thought I’d miss you less and less,
    but as the wind blows over my body,
    I miss the warmth of your touch.
    I miss the safe haven of your arms,
    the nurture of you lips.
    I miss the sound of your breath on my neck.
    You are still in my heart,
    even if you are nowhere near my body.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Empty

    Empty.
    Palm is empty.
    Heart is empty.
    Lungs are empty.
    My centre is empty.
    Stomach is just an emptiness.
    And this emptiness
    is the worst kind of pain.

    Dragon, 2021-2022, translation

  • Take me

    Your hands nailed me,
    unprepared, to your mouth…
    hot, hungry, wet mouth,
    mouth that I want everywhere,
    to suck me, lick me, kiss me,
    bit me, caress me,
    to take me.

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • So tight

    I would be nice to say it was love.
    But you did not ask for it
    and I did not dare to offer it.

    It didn’t seem as if we cared.

    Yet, why did you have to hold me so tight?

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • With me

    Hold me.
    Ask me how I am.
    Ask me what’s on my mind.
    How I’ve spent my day.
    What’s the book I’m reading.
    Hug me for the sake of the hug, nothing more.
    And offer me more, just because we can.
    Look me in the eye and tell me you care.
    Hold my hand.
    Join me without asking me what I want you to do.
    Sit by my side.
    Show me the new flower that blooms.
    Don’t say it’s nothing, tell me what is.
    Be with me.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • My kisses

    My kisses are bitter.
    They taste like a lie.
    They want to be given,
    they want to come back,
    but it’s only illusion.
    It is just pretended.
    I’m trying to fake it,
    I’m hoping to feel
    what I did long ago.
    The present is sour,
    the future is dead.
    It does not really matter
    if kisses are true.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Illusion

    I don’t need cards to tell me
    you’re only illusion,
    no wise woman to say
    I’m silly and it’s gone.
    My heart knows the truth
    even when it hurts,
    my blood is not a fool,
    and still it pulses with your beat.
    I’m sorry for wanting you too much.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Hide your palm

    Hide your palm between my thighs.
    They are burning, cool them down.
    Seek the part of me that
    pulses with the want for you the most.

    I’m dying, and I want more.

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • My world is chill

    My world is chill.
    Draught is wailing around corners,
    fires are put out.

    I cannot any more.
    I am exhausted,
    all that I had went pale.

    I tried so hard,
    I was blowing into embers,
    I was picking moist grass to burn it…

    Now I cannot any more.
    I am exhausted,
    all that I had I have given away.

    Why can’t I
    need you?
    I can’t do it all alone.

    I cannot any more.
    I am exhausted,
    there is no-one I could give any more.

    My world is chill,
    draught in my chambers.
    All I can be now is cold.

    I cannot any more.
    I am exhausted
    and there is no-one that would take what I have left.

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • In vain

    I try to remember, in vain,
    what it was, how it was, when it was…
    I do not know.
    I felt too much to be able to to notice
    anything else.
    Too much, when you were surrendering to my fingers.
    Too much, when you were searching for my lips,
    too much, when you wanted to take me,
    too much, when you wanted to give to me.
    I try to remember, in vain,
    where those spent hours are…
    I do not know.

    Dragon, 2000-2010, translation

  • Now

    From minutes to hours,
    from hours to days…
    Even the weeks and the months
    are passing in blur.
    How long since I miss you?
    How long since you left?
    How long that I love you?
    How long since we met?
    The minutes are hours,
    the days are like months,
    it’s lifetime of years now
    that you’re far away.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • I try

    I try to be thankful
    for flowers you’ve brought me,
    I wish I would not just
    see they have thorns.
    I try to remember
    the smiles you have given,
    I try to forget
    all the tears I have shared.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Night winds

    Sometimes I listen to night winds.
    I hope they will tell me
    you’re coming to me.
    I ask them to guide you, protect you.
    I look at the stars and wonder
    if you follow them into my arms.
    I hold my breath and wait…
    perhaps any time now
    you’ll knock at my door.
    Will it be sooner if I fall asleep?
    Or should I stay awake, so I’ll hear you come?
    Will I ever see your face?
    Will my heart feel yours, only skins in between?
    Will my palm finally find home
    in yours?

    Dragon, 2022