Among all the faces
yours
and among all whispers
mine.
My mornings woke up
for your nights.
Cautiously bold,
all, just a drop,
between us new worlds
began to exist
only with words.
It was almost, almost.

Alenka H., 2022

So many questions I want to ask.
So many things I want to tell.
So many hours of silence between us.

With each passing hour it’s harder to speak.

Alenka H., 2022

When I ask if you miss me,
I want you to lie.
When I ask if you think of me,
say that you do.

I want to hear I’m your first and last thought,
I want you to say that you dream of me
and wake up with my name on your lips.

Tell me it’s me.
Again and again.
No truth anymore.

Alenka H., 2022

A new lesson learned:
not worth telling why,
not even goodbye,
shamefully burned.

Alenka H., 2022

You want me?
I’m here.
I’m a blank, empty notebook,
and you can tear out my pages.
I’m a white, pristine canvas
for you to pour onto.
I’m here to give all,
I’m here to take all
that you want to loose,
and I’ll never ask you
to give what I need –
I know you don’t have it,
at least not for me.

Alenka H., 2022

Eternity –
from now
to presently,
from here
to here;
eternity of the moment
and moment of eternity;
drop in the ocean,
thought in the palm,
whispers between words,
words in the silence.
Boundlessness of moment,
brevity of boundlessness
and expanse of brevity.
Here and now,
there and then,
always, everywhere,
never, nowhere.

Alenka H., 1995-2005, translation

I said
This is all.
You said
I want more.
I said
There is none.
You said
Then I’m gone.

Alenka H., 2022

The winds are so strong.
I thought I’d miss you less and less,
but as the wind blows over my body,
I miss the warmth of your touch.
I miss the safe haven of your arms,
the nurture of you lips.
I miss the sound of your breath on my neck.
You are still in my heart,
even if you are nowhere near my body.

Alenka H., 2022

Empty.
Palm is empty.
Heart is empty.
Lungs are empty.
My centre is empty.
Stomach is just an emptiness.
And this emptiness
is the worst kind of pain.

Dragon, 2021-2022, translation

Your hands nailed me,
unprepared, to your mouth…
hot, hungry, wet mouth,
mouth that I want everywhere,
to suck me, lick me, kiss me,
bit me, caress me,
to take me.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

I would be nice to say it was love.
But you did not ask for it
and I did not dare to offer it.

It didn’t seem as if we cared.

Yet, why did you have to hold me so tight?

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

Hold me.
Ask me how I am.
Ask me what’s on my mind.
How I’ve spent my day.
What’s the book I’m reading.
Hug me for the sake of the hug, nothing more.
And offer me more, just because we can.
Look me in the eye and tell me you care.
Hold my hand.
Join me without asking me what I want you to do.
Sit by my side.
Show me the new flower that blooms.
Don’t say it’s nothing, tell me what is.
Be with me.

Alenka H., 2022

My kisses are bitter.
They taste like a lie.
They want to be given,
they want to come back,
but it’s only illusion.
It is just pretended.
I’m trying to fake it,
I’m hoping to feel
what I did long ago.
The present is sour,
the future is dead.
It does not really matter
if kisses are true.

Alenka H., 2022

I don’t need cards to tell me
you’re only illusion,
no wise woman to say
I’m silly and it’s gone.
My heart knows the truth
even when it hurts,
my blood is not a fool,
and still it pulses with your beat.
I’m sorry for wanting you too much.

Alenka H., 2022

Hide your palm between my thighs.
They are burning, cool them down.
Seek the part of me that
pulses with the want for you the most.

I’m dying, and I want more.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

My world is chill.
Draught is wailing around corners,
fires are put out.

I cannot any more.
I am exhausted,
all that I had went pale.

I tried so hard,
I was blowing into embers,
I was picking moist grass to burn it…

Now I cannot any more.
I am exhausted,
all that I had I have given away.

Why can’t I
need you?
I can’t do it all alone.

I cannot any more.
I am exhausted,
there is no-one I could give any more.

My world is chill,
draught in my chambers.
All I can be now is cold.

I cannot any more.
I am exhausted
and there is no-one that would take what I have left.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

I try to remember, in vain,
what it was, how it was, when it was…
I do not know.
I felt too much to be able to to notice
anything else.
Too much, when you were surrendering to my fingers.
Too much, when you were searching for my lips,
too much, when you wanted to take me,
too much, when you wanted to give to me.
I try to remember, in vain,
where those spent hours are…
I do not know.

Dragon, 2000-2010, translation

From minutes to hours,
from hours to days…
Even the weeks and the months
are passing in blur.
How long since I miss you?
How long since you left?
How long that I love you?
How long since we met?
The minutes are hours,
the days are like months,
it’s lifetime of years now
that you’re far away.

Alenka H., 2022

I try to be thankful
for flowers you’ve brought me,
I wish I would not just
see they have thorns.
I try to remember
the smiles you have given,
I try to forget
all the tears I have shared.

Alenka H., 2022

Sometimes I listen to night winds.
I hope they will tell me
you’re coming to me.
I ask them to guide you, protect you.
I look at the stars and wonder
if you follow them into my arms.
I hold my breath and wait…
perhaps any time now
you’ll knock at my door.
Will it be sooner if I fall asleep?
Or should I stay awake, so I’ll hear you come?
Will I ever see your face?
Will my heart feel yours, only skins in between?
Will my palm finally find home
in yours?

Dragon, 2022