Dragon’s Words

Words, written long ago or in the moment that just passed, carefully polished or done in a blink of an eye, while the feeling is fresh.

I’m not a poet, no. Writing is a way of healing, coping, surviving.

Some of poems were written recently, some decades ago. Many of them entered this world in my mother tongue that is quite different from English, having different structure, even some of features that don’t exist in most other languages. I do my best to translate those poems, but it can never sound the same. There are nuances of meanings, rhythm, taste… I can only hope the translation is good enough. It can never be perfect. But I’ve decided not to publish it in my mother tongue, I chose this blog instead. It will have to do.

Most of poems, if I may call them that at all, could probably be labeled as “love poems”, and yes, most of them are an expression of pain or hurt, longing, wishing, dreaming. Some are (mildly, in my opinion, but I acknowledge we have different criteria) erotic or sexual. If that is something you, Reader, find inappropriate or unwanted, you should know they are not specifically labeled or marked.

  • Feel

    Ssh, don’t open your eyes.
    Just feel.
    Feel my palm on your chest,
    feel my lips on your neck.
    Feel my tongue trailing down you body,
    feel my hair on your stomach,
    feel my hands on your thighs.
    With eyes firmly shut
    you can pretend it’s not me
    and I can pretend
    we’re making love.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Your words

    Your words are so sweet,
    but they taste so sour.

    Your whispers so charming,
    yet feeling so wrong.

    You say that you love me,
    no, darling, you don’t –

    It’s just words you’re saying
    with actions not worth.

    Alenka H., 2023

  • Only a day

    Our day was becoming a night.
    I wanted to ask you to go on with me,
    just one more hour,
    just one more step,
    one more embrace.
    You left our train without saying a word,
    and I whispered goodbye that will never be heard.
    I’ve travelled so far,
    only a day by your side.
    The nights are much colder now.
    And I dream of you.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Don’t speak

    Don’t speak.
    In silence the feeling is stronger.
    Don’t say the words.
    They’ve awoken the hope
    That should be left dormant.
    Your choice spoke so loud,
    Your acts screamed each time.
    I don’t want the drug
    Of your words.
    There is truth
    I must see.
    Don’t make me forget it.
    Don’t break me again.

    Alenka H., 2021

  • Just for a little while

    Just for a little while
    I’ll hold on to you.
    I cannot let you go,
    not yet, not yet.
    Just for a little while
    I want to love you,
    I cannot loose you,
    not yet, not yet.
    Just for a little while
    I have to have you,
    I don’t want to be alone,
    not yet, not yet.
    Just for a little while…

    Alenka H., 2021

  • Let’s go into the world

    Let’s go into the world
    While it is young and gentle.
    Let’s go
    While thoughts cannot cut us yet.
    Let’s go
    While words are too sleepy.

    And when the world grows nails
    Let’s hide.
    When people wake up
    Hold me close to you,
    Strongly, so that the awakened bustle doesn’t reach me.

    Make me warm, when I’m cold…
    Please…

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • Crime and punishment

    It’s a simple court,
    the judge with no ears,
    the accused with no mouth,
    no jury, no trial.

    It is a simple sentence,
    no mercy, not kind,
    no right for appeal,
    served with no delay.

    It’s a simple punishment,
    executed with a smile,
    it’s justice, I’m told,
    whipping the heart.

    Alenka H., 2023

  • To forget your absence

    I sense you in every raindrop,
    It smells like your smile.
    The trees offer me your touch.
    Every flower whispers your name.
    Every pebble, every rock, is
    A fragment of our dreams.
    There is nothing, nothing at all
    That would allow me
    To forget your absence.

    Alenka H., 2021

  • I don’t even need to close my eyes

    I don’t even need to close my eyes
    To feel the warmth of your kiss
    Or the softness of your touch
    Pretending I’m with you
    Cradling in your lap
    Close to your heart
    So close, so close
    I’m almost inside you.

    Alenka H., 2021

  • It shouldn’t

    It shouldn’t hurt so much,
    the air should not be poison,
    making holes in my lungs
    every breath in and out.
    Or maybe it should,
    reminding me that I still feel,
    I’m still alive
    even when I wish I wasn’t.

    Alenka H., 2021

  • A dead face

    I saw a dead face staring at me.

    It scared me with it’s
    dead eyes
    and dead mouth
    and dead skin.

    It scared me with it’s
    emptiness
    and despair
    and exhaustion.

    What scared me the most
    was the fact that is was
    staring at me
    from the mirror.

    Alenka H., 2023

  • Spark

    I saw a spark.
    Remembering the smell of our fire
    I closed my eyes,
    never seeing
    the spark was from a gun.

    Will you ever visit my grave?

    Alenka H., 2022

  • I closed my eyes

    I closed my eyes
    hoping it would silence
    the sound of your betrayal
    and the taste of my guilt.

    Alenka H., 2022

  • Tree of our souls

    I’m counting the grains of the sand in the desert,
    each one is a kiss on your body.
    I sift the drops in the sea between my fingers,
    each one is a moment, when you’re in my thoughts.
    With breathing of universe my love for you is expanding.
    Every cloud in the sky, forming and disappearing,
    is dreams of your touch.
    How am I supposed not to groom this tree of our souls?

    Alenka H., 2021, translation

  • Asleep

    I want to fall asleep
    not to see or hear a thing
    for as many years as it takes
    for you to come my way.

    And if you never do
    that is alright too,
    I don’t really mind
    as long as I don’t wake up.

    Alenka H., 2023

  • I’m saying a silent goodbye

    I’m saying a silent goodbye.
    I’m sending you my last embrace,
    my last kiss,
    my last heartbeat for you.

    May it keep you warm.
    Even when I’m gone
    it will stay with you,
    a part of you

    you won’t even notice.

    Alenka H., 2021

  • I’m cold

    I’m cold.
    I sleep in my socks.
    Why the hell don’t you come and warm me up???

    You know I prefer to sleep naked.

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • I dream us

    I dream us
    on early summer mornings
    when the breeze is still sweet and fresh
    sitting on the stairs
    each with a cup of black coffee
    inhaling the rich air
    and silent love between us.

    I dream us
    on cloudless nights
    looking at the starts
    making up stories about them
    and waiting for shooting stars
    to wish us another day together.

    I dream us
    on cold rainy evening
    together under a blanket
    perhaps talking, perhaps not
    it does not really matter
    because all we need is us.

    I dream us
    laughing at children and dogs and the birds
    marvelling at the beauties
    and soothing the thorns
    and we reach out and touch
    and life is good again.

    I dream us
    as they told me I shouldn’t
    because only when I dream us
    we are still alive
    and our death is too much to bear
    while we are still breathing .

    Alenka H., 2023

  • Sail with me

    Sail with me, beloved!

    I poured myself into you
    and your blossom smells by my side now.

    Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

  • Craving

    The hunger that’s eating me,
    The thirst that is draining me:
    This longing for human touch
    That I always craved oh so much.

    Alenka H., 2023

    Written as an answer to Diane Luise Davis‘s prompt in Poetry Therapy Group on FB. With her permisson I’m sharing her verse:

    I am wondering if my friends are mad at me,
    A thought that often comes up,
    I don’t ever think they may be glad of me,
    A thought that would fill joy’s cup.

    Diane Luise Davis, Top of my mind