Ssh, don’t open your eyes.
Just feel.
Feel my palm on your chest,
feel my lips on your neck.
Feel my tongue trailing down you body,
feel my hair on your stomach,
feel my hands on your thighs.
With eyes firmly shut
you can pretend it’s not me
and I can pretend
we’re making love.

Alenka H., 2022

Your words are so sweet,
but they taste so sour.

Your whispers so charming,
yet feeling so wrong.

You say that you love me,
no, darling, you don’t –

It’s just words you’re saying
with actions not worth.

Alenka H., 2023

Our day was becoming a night.
I wanted to ask you to go on with me,
just one more hour,
just one more step,
one more embrace.
You left our train without saying a word,
and I whispered goodbye that will never be heard.
I’ve travelled so far,
only a day by your side.
The nights are much colder now.
And I dream of you.

Alenka H., 2022

Don’t speak.
In silence the feeling is stronger.
Don’t say the words.
They’ve awoken the hope
That should be left dormant.
Your choice spoke so loud,
Your acts screamed each time.
I don’t want the drug
Of your words.
There is truth
I must see.
Don’t make me forget it.
Don’t break me again.

Alenka H., 2021

Just for a little while
I’ll hold on to you.
I cannot let you go,
not yet, not yet.
Just for a little while
I want to love you,
I cannot loose you,
not yet, not yet.
Just for a little while
I have to have you,
I don’t want to be alone,
not yet, not yet.
Just for a little while…

Alenka H., 2021

Let’s go into the world
While it is young and gentle.
Let’s go
While thoughts cannot cut us yet.
Let’s go
While words are too sleepy.

And when the world grows nails
Let’s hide.
When people wake up
Hold me close to you,
Strongly, so that the awakened bustle doesn’t reach me.

Make me warm, when I’m cold…
Please…

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

It’s a simple court,
the judge with no ears,
the accused with no mouth,
no jury, no trial.

It is a simple sentence,
no mercy, not kind,
no right for appeal,
served with no delay.

It’s a simple punishment,
executed with a smile,
it’s justice, I’m told,
whipping the heart.

Alenka H., 2023

I sense you in every raindrop,
It smells like your smile.
The trees offer me your touch.
Every flower whispers your name.
Every pebble, every rock, is
A fragment of our dreams.
There is nothing, nothing at all
That would allow me
To forget your absence.

Alenka H., 2021

I don’t even need to close my eyes
To feel the warmth of your kiss
Or the softness of your touch
Pretending I’m with you
Cradling in your lap
Close to your heart
So close, so close
I’m almost inside you.

Alenka H., 2021

It shouldn’t hurt so much,
the air should not be poison,
making holes in my lungs
every breath in and out.
Or maybe it should,
reminding me that I still feel,
I’m still alive
even when I wish I wasn’t.

Alenka H., 2021

I saw a dead face staring at me.

It scared me with it’s
dead eyes
and dead mouth
and dead skin.

It scared me with it’s
emptiness
and despair
and exhaustion.

What scared me the most
was the fact that is was
staring at me
from the mirror.

Alenka H., 2023

I saw a spark.
Remembering the smell of our fire
I closed my eyes,
never seeing
the spark was from a gun.

Will you ever visit my grave?

Alenka H., 2022

I closed my eyes
hoping it would silence
the sound of your betrayal
and the taste of my guilt.

Alenka H., 2022

I’m counting the grains of the sand in the desert,
each one is a kiss on your body.
I sift the drops in the sea between my fingers,
each one is a moment, when you’re in my thoughts.
With breathing of universe my love for you is expanding.
Every cloud in the sky, forming and disappearing,
is dreams of your touch.
How am I supposed not to groom this tree of our souls?

Alenka H., 2021, translation

I want to fall asleep
not to see or hear a thing
for as many years as it takes
for you to come my way.

And if you never do
that is alright too,
I don’t really mind
as long as I don’t wake up.

Alenka H., 2023

I’m saying a silent goodbye.
I’m sending you my last embrace,
my last kiss,
my last heartbeat for you.

May it keep you warm.
Even when I’m gone
it will stay with you,
a part of you

you won’t even notice.

Alenka H., 2021

I’m cold.
I sleep in my socks.
Why the hell don’t you come and warm me up???

You know I prefer to sleep naked.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

I dream us
on early summer mornings
when the breeze is still sweet and fresh
sitting on the stairs
each with a cup of black coffee
inhaling the rich air
and silent love between us.

I dream us
on cloudless nights
looking at the starts
making up stories about them
and waiting for shooting stars
to wish us another day together.

I dream us
on cold rainy evening
together under a blanket
perhaps talking, perhaps not
it does not really matter
because all we need is us.

I dream us
laughing at children and dogs and the birds
marvelling at the beauties
and soothing the thorns
and we reach out and touch
and life is good again.

I dream us
as they told me I shouldn’t
because only when I dream us
we are still alive
and our death is too much to bear
while we are still breathing .

Alenka H., 2023

Sail with me, beloved!

I poured myself into you
and your blossom smells by my side now.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

The hunger that’s eating me,
The thirst that is draining me:
This longing for human touch
That I always craved oh so much.

Alenka H., 2023

Written as an answer to Diane Luise Davis‘s prompt in Poetry Therapy Group on FB. With her permisson I’m sharing her verse:

I am wondering if my friends are mad at me,
A thought that often comes up,
I don’t ever think they may be glad of me,
A thought that would fill joy’s cup.

Diane Luise Davis, Top of my mind