Let’s go into the world
While it is young and gentle.
Let’s go
While thoughts cannot cut us yet.
Let’s go
While words are too sleepy.

And when the world grows nails
Let’s hide.
When people wake up
Hold me close to you,
Strongly, so that the awakened bustle doesn’t reach me.

Make me warm, when I’m cold…
Please…

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

It’s a simple court,
the judge with no ears,
the accused with no mouth,
no jury, no trial.

It is a simple sentence,
no mercy, not kind,
no right for appeal,
served with no delay.

It’s a simple punishment,
executed with a smile,
it’s justice, I’m told,
whipping the heart.

Alenka H., 2023

I sense you in every raindrop,
It smells like your smile.
The trees offer me your touch.
Every flower whispers your name.
Every pebble, every rock, is
A fragment of our dreams.
There is nothing, nothing at all
That would allow me
To forget your absence.

Alenka H., 2021

I don’t even need to close my eyes
To feel the warmth of your kiss
Or the softness of your touch
Pretending I’m with you
Cradling in your lap
Close to your heart
So close, so close
I’m almost inside you.

Alenka H., 2021

It shouldn’t hurt so much,
the air should not be poison,
making holes in my lungs
every breath in and out.
Or maybe it should,
reminding me that I still feel,
I’m still alive
even when I wish I wasn’t.

Alenka H., 2021

I saw a dead face staring at me.

It scared me with it’s
dead eyes
and dead mouth
and dead skin.

It scared me with it’s
emptiness
and despair
and exhaustion.

What scared me the most
was the fact that is was
staring at me
from the mirror.

Alenka H., 2023

I saw a spark.
Remembering the smell of our fire
I closed my eyes,
never seeing
the spark was from a gun.

Will you ever visit my grave?

Alenka H., 2022

I closed my eyes
hoping it would silence
the sound of your betrayal
and the taste of my guilt.

Alenka H., 2022

I’m counting the grains of the sand in the desert,
each one is a kiss on your body.
I sift the drops in the sea between my fingers,
each one is a moment, when you’re in my thoughts.
With breathing of universe my love for you is expanding.
Every cloud in the sky, forming and disappearing,
is dreams of your touch.
How am I supposed not to groom this tree of our souls?

Alenka H., 2021, translation

I want to fall asleep
not to see or hear a thing
for as many years as it takes
for you to come my way.

And if you never do
that is alright too,
I don’t really mind
as long as I don’t wake up.

Alenka H., 2023

I’m saying a silent goodbye.
I’m sending you my last embrace,
my last kiss,
my last heartbeat for you.

May it keep you warm.
Even when I’m gone
it will stay with you,
a part of you

you won’t even notice.

Alenka H., 2021

I’m cold.
I sleep in my socks.
Why the hell don’t you come and warm me up???

You know I prefer to sleep naked.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

You called for me
and I came.
I took off my shirt,
I kicked off my shoes
and barefoot I walked through the fields.
It was very dark
and I was so cold,
but you called for me
and I had to come.
Then, when I reached you,
you turned away,
looking at something only you saw.
I said “I am here”
and you said “I am not”.
Ashamed I returned
to my hidden chamber,
waiting for you
to call for me again.

Alenka H., 2022

I dream us
on early summer mornings
when the breeze is still sweet and fresh
sitting on the stairs
each with a cup of black coffee
inhaling the rich air
and silent love between us.

I dream us
on cloudless nights
looking at the starts
making up stories about them
and waiting for shooting stars
to wish us another day together.

I dream us
on cold rainy evening
together under a blanket
perhaps talking, perhaps not
it does not really matter
because all we need is us.

I dream us
laughing at children and dogs and the birds
marvelling at the beauties
and soothing the thorns
and we reach out and touch
and life is good again.

I dream us
as they told me I shouldn’t
because only when I dream us
we are still alive
and our death is too much to bear
while we are still breathing .

Alenka H., 2023

Sail with me, beloved!

I poured myself into you
and your blossom smells by my side now.

Alenka H., 2000-2010, translation

The hunger that’s eating me,
The thirst that is draining me:
This longing for human touch
That I always craved oh so much.

Alenka H., 2023

Written as an answer to Diane Luise Davis‘s prompt in Poetry Therapy Group on FB. With her permisson I’m sharing her verse:

I am wondering if my friends are mad at me,
A thought that often comes up,
I don’t ever think they may be glad of me,
A thought that would fill joy’s cup.

Diane Luise Davis, Top of my mind

You saw even feelings as images.

I felt even images.

I wanted to write a letter to you.

But there is no you,
and there are no words.

Alenka H., 2022

Thank you for all the moments when thought of you made me less lonely.

And thank you for making me see how lonely I am.

Thank you for showing me hope.

And thank you for not encouraging it.

Thank you for all the sweet words.

And thank you for all the painful lessons I’ve learnt knowing you.

Thank you for allowing me be me.

And thank you for being you.

I cannot thank you for what was not… I wish I could.

Alenka H., 2023

Our love story was short,
ending almost before it began,
but that doesn’t make it any less real,
that doesn’t make it any less true.
Only a few lines, only a few words,
yet in those words all our hearts lived and died.
You were my lover for those few nights,
I was your mistress for those few days –
thank you, my love, for a heartbeat of us.

Alenka H., 2022

We could spend our days
smiling at each-other,
caressing our souls
with tender words and looks.
We could spend our time
sharing secrets of life,
celebrating each gentle touch
across the universe of love.
We could spend our lives
being thankful for each breath
that keeps us together,
’till the next birth.

We could.
We don’t.
We won’t.

Why?

Alenka H., 2021